And so ends my first week being home. I always like the first week I'm home because I feel like I have a handicap and not much is expected of me. I'm mostly referring to my life at my house. Now when little things like me eating all the bread, finishing up the juice, and flushing the toilet at night (yes this is an issue here) come up I look more like a deadbeat than a quirky visitor. You know now that I think about it I really should just get out. I really don't have any options if I pursue Energy. I cannot work a job as things stand with us and we're not out that much at this point. I feel like it will get to a point really soon where either Energy will have to start becoming profitable or I will have to stop doing it to work. My time here is dwindling. I hope this isn't coming across as me saying I'm doing music because of money. I don't think anyone gets this serious about a band for money making scheme and if they are they're out of their fucking minds. Music for me is very therapeutic, a way for me to tell everyone (when published) something I couldn't ever say with out saying a word. Call it corny but I feel like I'm putting a background to everything I'm feeling, especially recently I feel like I've tapped more into that. Whether it's good or not, whether it's going to be heard by anyone at all, it's always a narrative to something. With that being said I can do that in a band that tours 5+ months of the year and I can do that all by myself. If I didn't have those reasons above I wouldn't do either. So when the matter of money comes up it's not a question of motive it's really a matter of survival and with out a place to live then... well I have to find a way to support myself. I don't really know who I'm preaching to right now I think 12 are subscribed to this, 5 probably check regularly, and 3 will actually read the whole thing out of boredom.

I didn't mean to write all that I mostly wanted to update to leave a bookmark on today because I had a really good day today. I played with Beartrap on WERS today. It was probably the best day to be in the city and right by the Common too. The set went well and we were done really fast. Debaser was all their so they played a few songs. Dose played the most perfect pick slide I have ever heard. Jesus. After wards they did a recorded interview and since I'm not in actually in Beartrap I went for a walk around the Common by myself. Everyone went to My Tie (I really don't know how the actually spelling is) I just went for a walk again to find food that isn't 5000 dollars for a bite of food. After wards we played a last minute show at, I feel stupid saying it because I'm not down with them, Fort Fuck Awesome. It was pretty awesome.

Tomorrow I have to wake up and do shit in the yard, which I am glad because I feel like I'm at least pulling my weight. I should be finishing up a song that I've been working on. It is with out a doubt the most emotionally intense thing I have ever recorded. It's the first thing I have ever recorded that has my voice(12 tracks of heys and 8 tracks of woahs) on it as well so it's really a step forward.